i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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