Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
