I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
