We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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