Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
