But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
