oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
