We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
