He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this just has baby written all over it
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
