she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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