we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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