They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
