I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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