you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
