i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
