he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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