I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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