She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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