You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize