I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
