Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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