I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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