Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
