i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You are a genius and a whore.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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