this just has baby written all over it
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
