I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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