you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
