i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
