I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Someone came in the potted fern
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
