the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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