I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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