Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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