You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
