Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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