Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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