physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
