Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just want nice things and good sex
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
