I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
