:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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