You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I intend to get homeless drunk
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
