dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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