i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
