I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
