Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize