a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
