It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She made me pour olive oil on her.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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