Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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