I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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