i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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