Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
