sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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