The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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