I bet he comes in French.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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