her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize