Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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