I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
