Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
