it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
