I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I die, sorry about rent.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
